Conversation you will never hear in a redneck bar

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rchop
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Conversation you will never hear in a redneck bar

Post by rchop »

Conversation you will never hear in a redneck bar:

39. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex".

38. Duct tape won't fix that.

37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

35. We don't keep firearms in this house.

34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

33. You can't feed that to the dog.

32. I thought Graceland was tacky.

31. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.

30. Wrasslin's fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

28. We're vegetarians.

27. Do you think my hair is too big?

26. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

25. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?

24. Who's Richard Petty?

23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

22. Deer heads detract from the decor.

21. Spitting is such a nasty habit.

20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.

18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

17. The tires on that truck are too big.

16. I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad.

15. I've got it all on a floppy disk.

14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

12. My fiancée, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's

11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

9. Checkmate.

8. She's too old to be wearing a bikini.

7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

5. I don't have a favorite college team.

4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

1. Elvis who?
_____________________________________________________________

I just love # 8 :lol: :P :lol: :P
new2BMW
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Post by new2BMW »

You can't feed that to the dog.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Randy, that is funny stuff! Now, get back to building that chopper. We're all on the edges of our seats waiting for the final pictures and you're screwing around with redneck jokes!

After a long afternoon of drinking, my brother, a few friends and I walked into an old home town bar next to the railroad tracks in Broken Arrow Oklahoma when my Brother opens his mouth and said "I smell bullshiit!". Needless to say, we didn't stay long.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Mark Twain
wncbmw
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rednecks

Post by wncbmw »

As a southern redneck, I should be offended. I'm not! :lol:

Re: No. 30 - You might be a redneck if you think wrasslin' is real but NASCAR is rigged! :P
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JCsman
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And a few more

Post by JCsman »

Doesn't this jukebox have any show tunes?

Turn off that football game and see what CNN is showing.

I don't care for Dolly Parton. Big hair, too much make up and large breasts are a turn off.

All my radio buttons are set on NPR.

I like to think of myself as a metrosexual.

:roll:
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