I Don't Like this Bike Anymore.

[Boxer]

NO! I really don’t like this bike anymore!

Every time I get on it I end up using more expensive gasoline than I had planned. The damn thing does something mesmeristic to my brain when I’m riding it and I’m somehow lulled into a false sense of euphoria. It’s no better than an addictive drug habit! This is NOT good. My work ethic suffers! I have become lazy and slovenly, leaving the most mundane and simple home tasks to the wife to perform. This in turn makes her resentful and angry at me and when I return home from a ride on this….this…BEAST, and she almost beats me after seeing the silly smile on my face.

When I’m not riding it, I’m on line discussing it’s various features with other addictees and constantly perusing web motorcycle shops for gear and accessories to make the experience even more enticing. I’m telling you it has to end. I can’t take it anymore! I find myself returning mindlessly to the garage for no apparent reason…Only to gaze at the thing on its centerstand, setting there with its broad chest quietly chuckling at my bitter struggle. Then I’m drawn to its partner the chamois, which I am compelled to use to wipe non-existent smudges from her painted surfaces. Ahhhhh! She’s sooooo gorgeous…..WAIT! Control yourself! Stop it! I then have to force myself to return to the dishes inside.

The constant wrangling within is driving me nuts! I try to remain aloof about it, but when my wife snidely asks, “You love that bike above all else, don’t you!?” I try to hide my deep inner emotions and calmly lie, “No dear it’s only a machine. Sppffp…What are you saying?” But a spouse has a way of seeing through the veneer, especially if she ever sees your face as you open a package from Riderwearhouse.

This bike has done it! Its to blame for sure! I HATE it! No I LOVE it! Hate it. Love it. I must hate it for my life to go on. I have to rid my life of these….these cravings to smell oil and gasoline and leather….and sweaty helmets. God help me, I really don’t like this bike anymore!
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Guess I better go out there now and install that new chrome exhaust tip with the band clamp I got from a buddy in Australia. The dishes can wait.

[LonestaRR]

You need therapy! Group therapy..........and we are here for you.

[DSKYZD]

MMMMMmmmmmmmm . . . . . sweaty helmets

We're here for you, Phil. We can all relate as we experience the same difficulties. It gets pretty hard at times, don't be afraid to ask for help. You've already taken the first step and admitted you have a problem. The road ahead is not an easy one but you can do it. When you hear it calling your name and you feel those tingles...

GIVE IN TO THEM. IT'S TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!!


Sicko!

[MikeCam]

Phil,

If it helps you with 'the wife' (can you say that in 2006?) you can keep your bike in my garage with Joe's Kawasaki. I promise to maintain and ride it regularly. Until you can yourself.

After all, what are fiends for?

Mike Cam (the Ram Mount Man)

[dwayne]

NO! I really don’t like this bike anymore!

Every time I get on it I end up using more expensive gasoline than I had planned. The damn thing does something mesmeristic to my brain when I’m riding it and I’m somehow lulled into a false sense of euphoria. It’s no better than an addictive drug habit! This is NOT good. My work ethic suffers! I have become lazy and slovenly, leaving the most mundane and simple home tasks to the wife to perform. This in turn makes her resentful and angry at me and when I return home from a ride on this….this…BEAST, and she almost beats me after seeing the silly smile on my face.

When I’m not riding it, I’m on line discussing it’s various features with other addictees and constantly perusing web motorcycle shops for gear and accessories to make the experience even more enticing. I’m telling you it has to end. I can’t take it anymore! I find myself returning mindlessly to the garage for no apparent reason…Only to gaze at the thing on its centerstand, setting there with its broad chest quietly chuckling at my bitter struggle. Then I’m drawn to its partner the chamois, which I am compelled to use to wipe non-existent smudges from her painted surfaces. Ahhhhh! She’s sooooo gorgeous…..WAIT! Control yourself! Stop it! I then have to force myself to return to the dishes inside.

The constant wrangling within is driving me nuts! I try to remain aloof about it, but when my wife snidely asks, “You love that bike above all else, don’t you!?” I try to hide my deep inner emotions and calmly lie, “No dear it’s only a machine. Sppffp…What are you saying?” But a spouse has a way of seeing through the veneer, especially if she ever sees your face as you open a package from Riderwearhouse.

This bike has done it! Its to blame for sure! I HATE it! No I LOVE it! Hate it. Love it. I must hate it for my life to go on. I have to rid my life of these….these cravings to smell oil and gasoline and leather….and sweaty helmets. God help me, I really don’t like this bike anymore!
.
.
.
Guess I better go out there now and install that new chrome exhaust tip with the band clamp I got from a buddy in Australia. The dishes can wait.

I sent the link to my wife...she wanted to know when I changed my name to Boxer?

[touchton]

Phil,

Looks like you've got yourself a 'disorder'!

[MikeCam]

Thad,

Bash - Little Rock, Arkansas (which two letter abbrev?) Do able? Roads?

Mike

[touchton]

Bash - Little Rock, Arkansas (which two letter abbrev?) Do able? Roads?

AR

Little Rock is doable for me, but it's a long haul for the NC/VA Bash regulars. Have you ever ridden across TN horizontally? As far a AR goes, the best roads would be north west of Little Rock. Around Eureka Springs looks good. You know, one may surmise we've developed a penchant for places known for their inbreeding. I might have to bring my sister.......

[MikeCam]

I'll bring mine if you bring yours!

[chris]

Phil, I better not show my wife your post..she already offered to bring me a sleeping bag down to the garage and when I was cleaning the balance pipe she thought I was kneeling before the BMW altar.. I also have my bike in its own private garage right next to my office at work, with a connecting door, so I can polish, clean, sit on and play with whenever I get the urge. It never gives me a break, HELP!!!

[beekstersocal]

[Kevin50r]

Arkansas is beautiful and if we have a bash there I'm going. I have family in Springfield Missouri so I have travel options.

[Valueman]

This is not a disorder, it is a syndrome.

VM

[KHaynes]

You need some intensive ride therapy. You must ride, clean and maintain the bike until you get tired of it. Of course, it could take 30 years or so.

[coyofmo]

Oh Arkansas ..There is nothing like HW7 between Harrison and Hot springs. Back when I was in school i'd hop on my old suzuki 750 and point it south... I'd get lost in the hills for a weekend just to clear my head. Them hills will just draw you in and the people you meet are the best..never had a bad experience in those days. Coy

[wncbmw]

Phil - I think you may have come to the wrong place for help. We all have the same illness!

If fact, before the weekend is up, I will make matters worse by posting a pic of my latest improvement! That ought to help!

[TonyT607]

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

[gagator79]

Yes, this is torture...stop it some more it hurts sooooooo good!!!

I put the K-RS mirrors on yesterday then just stood back and admired my (even prettier) baby. It does not help when so many people 'stare adoringly at my naked darling'. To others that would be embarrassing...for me I just love having a naked babe.

[sloopy_farklehump]

Boxer,

Whatever you do, don't make the mistake I made. Don't call the bike "your soul mate" in front of your wife. Trust me, it won't go over well.

[Sit]

It so comforting to know I am not the only one star stuck with the bike!

I am not alone thank goodness.